Home
>
Parenting
>
Back to School Success: The Parents Job and the Students Job

Back to School Success: The Parents Job and the Students Job

Q. With another school year starting, we are not sure how to handle things with our teen-ager. Last year turned into such a battle, and we fear another year just like last year. Is there anything we can do to help make this a successful year?

A. The short answer is yes, there are many things you can do to make this a better school year, not just for your teen, but for the whole family as well.

The long answer is that I think you have asked a very interesting and important question. Many of the families I work with struggle a great deal over the issue of school.

In my experience, this power struggle seems to be caused by a fundamental difference between parents and kids in their perception of the purpose of school. Here's how I believe it works:

For parents, the perception is, ``We work all day; the kids don't. School is their job. Therefore, they should get good grades, just as we want to do well at our jobs.'

The teen-agers' perception is quite different, however. In their view, school is rarely more than their social world, interrupted by six or seven classes a day.

As in most power struggles, each point of view has at least some validity. School really is the job of teen-agers, and they need to be in charge of themselves in this area. At the same time, school really is their social world. It's where they see most of their friends, and it's where they do a great deal of their interacting with peers.

Having said all that, let's take a look at just what are the jobs of parents and teen-agers.

The Parent's Job

1) To create an environment at home that encourages a love of learning.

How often do your children see you reading? Hear you talking about something you have learned? Do you discuss ideas and issues with them? While these are things to start with your child on day one, you can still implement them in your home now.

2) This one is so simple yet so profound.

Ask them their opinions on important issues of the day. You may be surprised to find out what kind of brains they have in there.

3) Make sure there is nothing blocking your teen-ager from learning.

Examples of blocks are learning and information-processing disorders, and attention-deficit disorder. Many teen-agers I work with who have difficulty at school have undiagnosed ADD.

Another block to learning can be the use of alcohol or drugs. Part of the process of drug abuse is that kids begin to lose interest in things that were once very important to them. If they are drunk or high at school, not only do they not want to learn, they can't.

4) Know the names and philosophies of the following people who influence your child's life:

the principal, assistant principals, the guidance counselor and, most especially, the teachers.

5) Once you have done all this, simply put the teen-agers in charge of school.

What I mean is, make them responsible for their performance at school. Doing so may be difficult; this may be one of those situations in which things get worse before they get better.

THE Student's Job

1) To be in charge of themselves about school.

They are the ones who get the grades. Parents don't get the grades, they do. One of the things I work on with teen-agers is to help them them understand that if they really want their parents off their backs, they will handle school well. When they don't, it's an open invitation to the parents to step in and take over.

2) Show up.

That means going to school and then going to class. And one of the worst things about skipping is that it is incredibly addictive.

3) Find something in school to ``burn for.'

Once you are really interested in something, learning becomes a lot more fun. Wanting your children to excel in school is natural and a good thing. But there comes a time when the ball is simply in their court, and it's up to them. I think the most important thing for parents to remember is that school needs to be more important to them than it is to you.

Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

recurring maid service Arlington Heights ..

In The News:

A New Jersey teenager filed a major lawsuit against AI/Robotics Venture Strategy 3 Ltd. over ClothOff, an AI tool that created fake nude images from her social media photos.

Microsoft reports Storm-2657 cybercriminals sent phishing emails to 6,000 addresses at 25 universities to steal payroll credentials and redirect funds.

Astronomers have discovered asteroid 2025 SC79, a skyscraper-sized space rock orbiting the sun in just 128 days. the second-fastest known.

The Fox News AI Newsletter delivers the latest developments form the world of artificial intelligence, including the technology's challenges and opportunities.

A cyberattack on SimonMed Imaging exposed personal information of 1.2 million patients, including medical records, financial details and identity papers.

Spotify's managed accounts for kids under 13 now available in at least seven countries, allowing parents to filter and block explicit content and songs.

Friendly text conversations about BBQs and social events can lead to WEEX gold trading scams that target older adults with fake investment opportunities.

California company Skyeports creates self-healing glass spheres from Moon regolith that generate solar power and support plant growth for sustainable lunar living.

Cleafy researchers discover fake VPN streaming app Mobdro Pro that installs Klopatra banking Trojan, giving attackers full control over Android devices.

Police departments across the U.S. and Canada are adopting virtual reality training to better prepare officers for high-pressure, real-world situations.

House Bill 469 would prevent AI systems from owning property, serving as executives, or gaining legal personhood in Ohio under Representative Thaddeus Claggett's proposal.

Public voter records expose retirees' personal details to election scammers who create targeted cons using names, addresses, and voting history data.

Instead of fearing what comes next with artificial intelligence, think outside the box. Here are high-earning AI jobs that don't require a computer science degree.

OpenAI CEO Sam Altman says polite words like "please" and "thank you" cost millions annually, while direct prompts may improve ChatGPT accuracy by several points.

Chattee Chat and GiMe Chat exposed intimate conversations and photos, revealing users spent up to $18,000 on AI companions before the breach.

New Instagram parental controls allow families to manage teen screen time and content limits through the Family Center with stricter safety settings.

Third-party security breach at Discord exposes sensitive user information including government IDs, highlighting cybersecurity risks from external service providers.

Survey of 1,000 students shows teens using AI for personal relationships while two-thirds of parents remain unaware of their children's AI usage.

Cybersecurity experts warn about a ShadowLeak vulnerability that weaponized ChatGPT's Deep Research agent to steal personal data from Gmail accounts through hidden commands.

Tesla's Full Self-Driving system faces federal investigation following 58 reports of crashes, with six vehicles running red lights before colliding with other cars.

The Fox News AI Newsletter brings you the latest developments on artificial intelligence, with news on OpenAI moving to soon allow erotica for adult users.

Eric Schmidt alerts that hackers can reverse-engineer AI models to bypass safety measures, citing examples like the jailbroken ChatGPT variant called DAN.

Cybercriminals exploit Microsoft Teams through impersonation, malicious links and fake profiles to gather intel and deliver ransomware to personal and work devices.

Google, Dior, Allianz and dozens of other companies lost sensitive customer data in Salesforce-related breaches affecting millions of records across multiple sectors.

Apple launches iOS 26 with new Preview app that combines document editing, PDF annotation and scanning features into one streamlined iPhone experience.

Back to School Success: The Parents Job and the Students Job

Parenting