Part of the responsibility of being a father is to establish a strong foundation for the family. Just like a building foundation, much of this work goes unseen and rarely gets acknowledged, yet the strength and integrity of the entire structure relies on it. The following intentions, although not always perfectly fulfilled, give us guidance in our mission.
Grounded in Reality
While my children may put me on a pedestal, I have my feet firmly on the ground and acknowledge my own strengths and weaknesses.
Demonstrative Love
I take the time to know and understand the best way to communicate my love to each and every child. My children see my love for my wife clearly expressed.
Mutual Respect.
By honoring and never ridiculing the thoughts, emotions and actions of my family, each member clearly experiences and understands my great respect for them.
Consistently Predictable.
My family is comforted and anchored by my predictability. My deepest values are consistently
demonstrated in my speech and behavior.
Predictable Spontaneity.
My family knows that I am extremely curious and love to explore and learn. My spontaneity is
consistent. We plan with flexibility, and the children look forward to unexpected adventures.
Responsible.
My children see how I prepare and follow through, owning up to my responsibilities. They learn by my example.
Safety/Security
I take safety very seriously and my children know it. They have learned by my examples, for instance: I always wear a helmet when skating, skiing or bicycle riding, and I take first-aid and CPR classes. Our car does not go into motion until all seat belts, including mine, are on. Primary
Advocate
My children know that I stand behind them and will protect, defend and honor them at all times. I do not discuss my children's failings with others.
Serious Humor
I deliberately use humor liberally to lighten stress and lubricate relationships to ensure a cohesive family.
WYSIWYG What you see is what you get.
I practice what I preach and that includes accepting human frailty and mistakes. The greatest foundation for a family is living with integrity.
Copyright 2004 by CoachVille, Dovid Grossman and Ken Mossman
Duplication, with attribution, permitted and encouraged.
www.coachville.com
From CoachVille's "Awesome Dads, dare to be a hero!" community.
Check us out at: www.coachville.com
About The Author
My father was a very successful engineer. But he and I never got along, and we fought all the time. One day, when I was 17, I told him, "I always wanted a close relationship with you, but we don't have it." I watched as three tears squeezed out of his pained eyes. And he said, "I've always wanted that, too, but I just don't know how to do it." Since that day, we haven't argued. I got it. I understood his love for me was really deep. A lot of fathers are in the same boat. They love their kids dearly. But they don't know how to express this in a way that their kids understand it. Which means there's great pain in one of the most important relationships in their lives. I offer adventure, mentoring and coaching programs for fathers to become Awesome Dads. The benefits are a lifetime of pleasure and pride with the most important people in their lives. Dovid Grossman
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