Are You Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child?

Although many parents are concerned with our children's intelligence quotient (IQ), research shows that a child's emotional quotient (EQ) is just as important for that child's personal success. So what is Emotional Intelligence? Emotional quotient is your child's ability to feel, while intelligence quotient is your child's ability to think. Although the term was coined in 1990 by psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer, the person responsible for bringing more awareness to emotional intelligence is a science writer Daniel Goleman.

Mr Goleman's book Emotional Intelligence brought to light the importance of a child's skill of awareness, empathy and ability to manage emotions. Although there is some controversy regarding how emotional intelligence plays a role in a child's life, there is evidence of the value of emotional intelligence.

Two of the multiple intelligences of Dr. Howard Gardner are Inter and Intra personal intelligence. Inter-personal Intelligence is the ability to relate to and understand others. Intra personal Intelligence is the ability to self reflect and understand inner emotions and identify strengths and weaknesses. Emotional intelligence combines the two intelligences and helps a child to manage their feelings and emotions as well as empathize with the feelings and emotions of others.

Should we be concerned about the emotional intelligence of our children? Yes, because part of growing up to be responsible, healthy and happy individuals is the ability to show respect, cooperate and have empathy. We live in a society that inundates us with so much technology that we sometimes forget the importance of human contact and relationships. Children need to be able to understand their feelings. We place so much emphasis on behavior, that we neglect the underlying feelings that create these behaviors. Misbehavior is sometimes caused by an unmet need. According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, "people are motivated by their unsatisfied needs".

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs illustrates the five basic human needs:

1. Biological and Physiological needs - air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, sleep, etc.

2. Safety needs - protection from elements, security, order, law, limits, stability, etc.

3. Belongingness and Love needs - work group, family, affection, relationships, etc.

4. Esteem needs - self-esteem, achievement, mastery, independence, status, dominance, prestige, managerial responsibility, etc.

5. Self-Actualization needs - realizing personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences. Only when the lowest of the needs (#1) is met, can a person start to move up toward fulfilling the other needs. For example, if your child does not feel safe at home, your child can not be expected to perform well in school (#3-Belongingness).

We also are not aware how our moods affect our children's moods. If a parent is stressed and constantly annoyed, the child picks up on that mood and starts to behave the same way. If we do not speak to our children about their feelings, acknowledge their feelings and validate their feelings, our children will not understand how to be responsible for their own feelings and emotions.

When children have their emotional needs met, they are able to make healthy decisions in life. Some of children's emotional needs are to feel loved, safe, understood, valued, trusted, listened to, worthy, appreciated, needed, important and motivated. To find out what your child's emotional needs, think about how do you want your child to feel and how you would like to create those feelings for your child.

So how can you raise your child's emotional intelligence?

For starters with young children, as parents we can demonstrate healthy ways of expressing our own emotions.

Use the word "I" to own the feeling. Start with I feel upset when I am not heard.

Give the feeling a label for your child: "It looks like you're sad because your friend could not come over and play."

Validate your child's feelings. Listen, nod your head, use short comments to get them to continue talking. Do not criticize or yell or your child will shut down.

Make eye contact and pay attention.

As your child grows, help them to understand different emotions and why people react to certain circumstances.

Help your child to identify the following:
How am I feeling right now?
Why am I feeling this way?
How would I like to feel?

The more you help your child understand his/her emotions, the more your child will be able to control impulsive behavior and cooperate with others.

Resources

Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs:
http://honolulu.hawaii.edu/intranet/committees/FacDevCom/guidebk/teachtip/maslow.htm

Emoti onal Intelligence for children ages 2-4
http://www.operationhomefront.org/downloads/Emotional_intellegence_2-4.pdf

Emotional Intelligence for children ages 5-7
http://www.operationhomefront.org/downloads/Emotional_Intellegence_5-7.pdf

Article: How Important is Emotional Intelligence?
http://www.parentssource.com/5.20.01.give.article.html

Cultivate Emotional Intelligence in Your Child
http://www.vtaide.com/png/EQ.htm

Emotional Intelligence: What is it? Who has it? How to get it?
http://www.imageryforkids.com/art_emotionalintelligence.asp

Marie M. Roker is an Academic and Personal Development Coach who helps parents and children to disover and develop their strengths, talents and natural gifts. Visit her online at http://www.successfulchild.com or http://www.successfulchild.com

top rated cleaning service Lake Forest ..
In The News:

Holiday scams spike during Black Friday and Cyber Monday as criminals exploit your leaked personal data. Learn how to protect yourself from fake stores and phishing.
Commerce Department proposes TP-Link router ban over Chinese security risks. Learn how this potential prohibition could affect your home network and devices.
Hyundai AutoEver America suffered a data breach affecting 2,000 current and former employees, exposing names, Social Security numbers and driver's license information.
Washington court rules automated license plate reader images are public records, even when stored by vendors like Flock Safety, setting precedent for transparency.
Fake airline texts claiming flight cancellations are targeting travelers with convincing scams. Learn how cybercriminals steal personal data and credit card info.
Discover how iOS 26's new Adaptive Power feature automatically extends iPhone battery life by learning your usage patterns and adjusting performance intelligently.
New TikTok malware campaign tricks users into running PowerShell commands that download Aura Stealer, which steals credentials and authentication tokens.
Gaia Family offers fixed upfront pricing for IVF cycles with unlimited embryo transfers and financial protection, partnering with over 100 U.S. fertility clinics.
The Jetsons Act aims to position Pennsylvania as a leader in advanced air mobility by establishing regulations for hybrid ground-air vehicles.
Fake Geek Squad invoice emails are targeting users with convincing charges and urgent phone numbers to steal personal information and money.
Fox News Digital's artificial intelligence newsletter digs into a robot in Russia that faceplanted, George Clooney's alarm and OpenAI's rivalry with the New York Times.
Major data breach at Conduent exposes personal information of 10+ million people. Government contractor hit by cyberattack affecting Medicaid, child support systems.
Texas startup Janta Power raises $5.5M for innovative vertical solar towers that generate 50% more energy than traditional panels while using just one-third the land.
NASA's twin ESCAPADE spacecraft launched aboard Blue Origin's New Glenn rocket Thursday afternoon from Cape Canaveral, beginning their journey to Mars with arrival expected in 2027.
Learn how to set email reminders on iPhone and Android so you never forget to reply again. Simple built-in features help you stay organized and on top of messages.
Discover how Apple's passkeys revolutionize Mac security by replacing vulnerable passwords with biometric authentication and encryption for ultimate protection.
New survey reveals 78% of parents fear AI scams targeting their kids, yet nearly half haven't discussed these threats. Learn why this dangerous gap exists.
Chrome now autofills passport and driver's license info automatically. Google's latest browser update adds official document support with encryption and user control.
Scammers impersonate Department of Veterans Affairs employees claiming veterans owe money, but real VA communications only direct to VA.gov or official channels.
The AltoVolo Sigma hybrid-electric aircraft flies 500 miles at 220 mph while operating 80% quieter than helicopters, featuring safety systems and compact design.
Google search scam alert: fake customer service numbers can give scammers remote control of your phone. Learn how to spot these traps and protect yourself.
Electric vehicles overtake gas cars in total CO2 savings after just two years of driving, with emissions benefits growing over time as power grids get cleaner.
Louvre Museum reportedly used "Louvre" as password for surveillance system during $100M jewel heist. Learn how weak passwords put even famous institutions at risk.
Bipartisan AI jobs bill from Sens. Hawley and Warner would require companies to report AI-related layoffs and hiring to Department of Labor quarterly.
Joe A. from Shelton, Connecticut, lost $228,000 to a ZAP Solutions cryptocurrency investment scam after his divorce, highlighting rising online fraud.

6 Tried & True Fun Ways to Educate and Entertain Your Preschooler

1. New Word of the DayIntroduce your preschooler to a... Read More

Advocating for Your Child with LD

Advocate: you've probably heard the term before. But what does... Read More

Celebrating Life with Children in September

Here are ten simple pleasures you can enjoy with your... Read More

Helping Your Child Cope With A Long-Term Illness

All children will likely have many different health problems during... Read More

Be Serious With Your Child Future

As a parent your biggest responsibility is to prepare your... Read More

Organizing a Car Wash Fundraiser

The key to a successful car wash fundraiser event is... Read More

Medications: Addressing Parental Fears and Concerns

Recently, a parent came to me, conflicted over whether to... Read More

How to Get a Good Diagnosis to See If Your Child Has ADHD

Your child's teacher says that you need to find out... Read More

Reading, Writing, Rithmetic -- and Recess!

Recess has begun disappearing in states all around the country.... Read More

Strategies to Help Boost Your Childs Self Esteem

Self esteem in an important quality for all children to... Read More

Personal Responsibility: What It Means and Whose Job is It?

"How many times do I have to tell you to... Read More

Theres a Lollipop on Your Bottom (and Other Terms of Endearment)

"I took care of Callie," my three-year-old announced.Callie had been... Read More

What Values Are We Giving Our Children?

On a bright Sunday morning, a couple of weeks ago,... Read More

Vehicle Safety - Following Simple Vehicle Safety Tips Can Reduce Auto Accidents and Injuries

Child Car Seat Safety:We know you love your children, but... Read More

His Toy, Her Toy

I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her... Read More

Potty Dolls to Accelerate Potty Training Success

Sometime the most effective training tool in rapidly accelerating the... Read More

Did You Get the Hidden Parenting Message in Finding Nemo?

In the movie, Finding Nemo, Nemo's father, Marlyn asks the... Read More

Dads, Give them Household Chores

You have a chore to do around the house, and... Read More

7 Ways to Know Your Child

How well do you really know your child?There is so... Read More

Why Do People Have Kids?

Despite the theory that people have kids because they want... Read More

Avoid Weight Problems In Children

Although, not a well publicized statistic, childhood obesity has more... Read More

Couch Potatoes Beware!

It's no surprise that the self-image and self-esteem of overweight... Read More

How to Stop Bad Behavior Before it Starts

Coping with a child's bad behavior, perhaps more than any... Read More

Useful Jogger Stroller Accessories

There are many useful jogger stroller accessories out on the... Read More

Assertiveness: Key to Better Parenting

I have always been aware of my number one weakness:... Read More

insured cleaning company Morton Grove ..