This may come as a surprise, but many parents are unaware of
the full extent of their child's basic needs.
Do you remember the old song by Lennon and McCartney about
the girl leaving home after 'living alone for so many
years'? The parents were desolate. They'd given her
everything money could buy - so how could she possibly have
been lonely and unhappy?
Clearly, there were some needs that just weren't being met
at home, so the girl upped and left.
What are these basic needs we must be aware of if we're to
be effective parents?
There are four categories: physical, emotional, intellectual
and spiritual.
So often people overestimate the first category, physical
needs - but let's not underestimate them either! We all need
food and drink, warmth, clothing and shelter to protect us
from the elements.
These will sustain life, but by themselves they won't
promote positive relationships. Some parents, however,
shower their kids with material things in order to over-
compensate for the other areas.
And we all know that, despite their wealth, many of these
same kids are miserable. Their other needs are just not
being met.
Probably the most obvious of these other needs is emotional
in nature.
Love and affection are vital, but there's more to it.
Children need constant reassurance! When our personalities
are forming we are on the lookout for feedback, so that we
know what to accept and what to reject.
We also form our picture of ourselves from the feedback we
get from others, especially those who have 'significant'
roles in our lives: parents first, then siblings, relatives,
teachers, friends and so on.
The bottom line is that a child doesn't really know what to
make of himself until that feedback comes in.
And they make value judgements so quickly! 'Hey, I'm pretty
good at this, everbody tells me so!'
Or how about, 'Yeah, I guess I'm a pretty stupid, useless
person. They always laugh at me. That's if they take any
notice at all!'
As a parent it's easy for you to praise the child who's
doing well, but the child who's struggling needs as much -
no, needs more - praise and encouragement. And so often we
overlook this.
If you take the time to listen to your kids, to take their
interests and ideas seriously - even if they seem petty,
trivial or irrelevant - then you are investing heavily in
your children's emotional well-being.
Although many parents are becoming aware of the emotional
needs of children, some are a bit hazy when it comes to
their intellectual needs.
There's still a perception that those kids who do well at
school just happen to be the 'brainy' ones.
Yet a wide body of research suggests that school or
'academic' success will be determined by a child's positive
self-image AND by the stimulation and interaction the child
receives at home.
These affect the thought-processes of the child, and the
thought-processes (HOW the child thinks) are the tools used
in learning.
Kids who perform well at school consistently come from homes
where there's a lot of mental stimulation through play, a
variety of experiences, and interaction through discussion
and conversation.
Finally, if intellectual needs are hazy, there appears to be
downright confusion over spiritual needs.
That children have spiritual needs comes as a shock to some
parents, and others hotly dispute this need. This seems to
be because most people associate spiritual needs with
religion, but they are not necessarily related to religious
beliefs.
It's generally accepted in modern educational and clinical
psychology that we all have spiritual needs.
It's helpful to make your kids aware that there are greater
forces and powers at work in nature and in the universe, and
that their lives work best when they are in harmony with
these.
You can meet your kids' spiritual needs by participating in
your religion, but also by fostering a sense of awe and
wonder about the grandeur of the world.
Teach your children to respect nature and the life force
that permeates it.
On to this can be built an appreciation of the diversity and
variety of human lives and customs.
As a result your kids will grow up with a value system,
which when followed will lead to contentment and happiness.
A well-rounded individual, then, is one who's needs are met
in all the above categories: physical, emotional,
intellectual and spiritual.
Take action now to meet ALL your kid's basic needs. It's
never too late, but obviously the earlier you start, the
better. Your kids will be well-balanced and happy.
And you? Well, you'll be taking pride and pleasure in a job
well done!
Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail?
Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and
teacher. His writing includes children's fiction and motivational books for both teenagers and parents.If you want to further develop your parenting
confidence and encourage your kids to be all they can be,
visit his web pages,
http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html
Here is something that you might want to keep if... Read More
I had just completed a session with 17-year old Julie... Read More
Many years ago, my children were raised on the various... Read More
Many companies advertise their products as being educational. How much... Read More
Although, not a well publicized statistic, childhood obesity has more... Read More
Little Suzy has really been having a hard time getting... Read More
Salon visits can be scary experiences for small children: They... Read More
Research has shown that the present generation of children worldwide... Read More
The biggest complaint you hear from parents about their children... Read More
Minus all meningitis thoughts. The flu symptons were strong. Headache,... Read More
Anyone can splurge on a formal dinner or a pricey... Read More
MYTH: All teens have to rebel, and the teen years... Read More
Many people consider plush toys great for children. They say... Read More
The small, lilac colored hexagonal box, with Winnie the Pooh... Read More
Blink. That's all we did, blink, and summer is ending... Read More
I could nearly fund my children's future education if I... Read More
Advocate: you've probably heard the term before. But what does... Read More
One reason public schools get away with educational failure, year... Read More
Do you struggle to get your child to bed at... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
MYTH: If you have not parented as well as you... Read More
Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in... Read More
Managing money is one of the most critical skills we... Read More
Researched through personal experience!Budget Your Money. Even if you are... Read More
Tripping over the shoes and toys that seem to clutter... Read More
green cleaning service Deerfield ..There is a front line and a back end to... Read More
I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted... Read More
The debate in many towns continues throughout this country about... Read More
Children do what feels good to them and follow their... Read More
Many parental units are not "techies" and openly admit they... Read More
Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and... Read More
Paula's last child had just gone off to college and... Read More
Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain... Read More
1. They can make mistakes under your guidance2. They will... Read More
Today's dads are more hands-on than ever before and their... Read More
OK, moms and dads out there, we hear you when... Read More
Assuming there are no serious motor problems present, what can... Read More
It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward... Read More
Most of the ADHD kids that are seen in a... Read More
If you are a member of a stepfamily, you know... Read More
Do you ever wonder what is behind the occasional nasty... Read More
Who lives in your house? Are they driving you "crazy?"... Read More
Anyone can become a parent; there are no tests or... Read More
For every season, check, check, check, There is a chart,... Read More
Giving with a happy heart. If you teach a child... Read More
Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may... Read More
Having been a parent educator and a PBS consultant for... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her... Read More
Teaching kids to deal with conflict effectively and peacefully is... Read More
Many families, ours included, have learned that breakfast is eaten... Read More
Parenting |