Picture this. Your child comes home with a special assignment from school. He's very excited about it and puts in a lot of time to perfect it. He's thrilled with the result and can't wait to take it to school.
A few days later, he comes through the door, picks a fight with a younger sibling and bursts into tears. Finally, he manages to tell you that the project he was so proud of was 'unacceptable,' that the teacher wants him to do it over.
What's your first reaction?
a) Protective - "I'll straighten this out."
b) Embarrassed - "MY son always gets good grades."
c) Angry - "That teacher is picking on my son!"
d) Worried - "This could be damaging to his self esteem."
e) Grateful- "He's got someone who's really going to push him to reach his potential this year."
I think that lots of parents want to believe that 'e' is the right answer.... I just remember wishing that it wasn't so difficult to stifle all of the other reactions on my way to that answer! Sometimes the urge to protect goes a bit too far.
As parents, it's not our job to see that our children never experience sadness, disappointment or frustration. As much as most of us would like to, we're probably not going to be able to keep those things out of their lives -- now OR when they become adults. But, we can do the next best thing.
We can invest the time that it takes to prepare them to face life's struggles.
Instead of trying to shield our kids from 'negativity' let's help them embrace tough situations. Why not use the bumps provided by the classroom or the playground to build the strengths they'll need when applying for a job or surviving an unhappy supervisor?
Isn't that real learning?
Andrea Patten is the co-author of What Kids Need to Succeed: Four Foundations of Adult Achievement now available on Amazon.com
To find out more about The Four Foundations or to request that Andrea speak to your group, please visit http://www.whatkidsneedtosucceed.com
"....because you're not raising a child, you're raising a future adult!"
no-contract cleaning service Glenview ..On a recent Saturday evening, I noticed a young teen-age... Read More
Many parents struggle to know which foods are healthy for... Read More
When a couple steps forth with a baby in tow... Read More
Although many children are picky eaters at some stage in... Read More
We're all familiar with the over-indulgent parent. But there's another... Read More
Q. How do I overcome the 16-year-old who does things... Read More
This article on parenting is by a practicing relationship counsellor/therapist,... Read More
Vacations are fun ! Weekends with the family are nice.... Read More
Teens don't learn responsibility overnight. If you haven't been working... Read More
A small town, somewhere in the world, was managed by... Read More
Question 1 "How do I get more time to play?"... Read More
If you are like most people today, you do not... Read More
Have you ever watched your teenager make a mistake (that... Read More
Q. With another school year starting, we are not sure... Read More
I am writing this from the beautiful mountains of Western... Read More
Something eerily familiar happened in KwaZulu-Natal's Hluhluwe-Umfolozi Park in Africa... Read More
For most children, it is easy to learn to read... Read More
Compulsory attendance laws are school authorities' first assault on parental... Read More
What should the goals for counseling be when the patient... Read More
You have a chore to do around the house, and... Read More
Are you a professional?Notice how the questions differs from, "Do... Read More
Successful families don't just happen. They take time, talent and... Read More
Research literature, recent books, and common sense, all point to... Read More
It's a familiar scene: Kids screaming at each other, complaining... Read More
Blink. That's all we did, blink, and summer is ending... Read More
house cleaning company Glencoe ..Blink. That's all we did, blink, and summer is ending... Read More
Bullies are an ugly but very real part of childhood.... Read More
"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More
In our last issue we posted some of our suggested... Read More
Q. My teenage son is turning 16 early next year... Read More
1 "Law of Belonging": The greatest need of teenagers (after... Read More
This can be a very complicated issue, so I don't... Read More
Here are ten simple pleasures you can enjoy with your... Read More
Self-reliance and potential are two very important values that I'd... Read More
Let's face it: raising children can be quite the adventure.... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not... Read More
In our last article about the neurology of ADHD we... Read More
Home-schooling provides children with a superior education. Parents can quickly... Read More
All of us, including your child, entered this world equipped... Read More
Maryann is so focused she's blind. She's slipped over the... Read More
It's that time of year when mom and dad look... Read More
Since so many would rather avoid the use of stimulant... Read More
Each child carries a unique picture of the self, shaped... Read More
The subject of competition is one that provokes some pretty... Read More
School authorities continually claim that they want more parent cooperation... Read More
If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More
It was the homework that did it. Each night became... Read More
This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More
When it's time to put your child into a daycare... Read More
Parenting |