Dear Mom
On this day set aside to honour "Mother's" let me tell you a story about you and me and your granddaughter Shelby.
"Hi Mom, I'm in a really bad space" so many things went through my mind in a flash. Was she pregnant? I was also impressed with her language because I understood the language of space. Yes, she is my daughter and we sometimes speak the same language. Shelby had been to a high school leadership camp on the weekend. How profound for her had it been? What did she want to reveal to me as a result of her experience at camp? Or had she lost a friend to death? In the half an hour since I had last seen her. All this went through my mind in the nano second that elapsed in this moment, what was really true?
Then she let it out, I forgot my bag of clothes on the bus. Now, that may seem small and insignificant and what you may not know dear reader is what the clothes represented.
The evening prior, Shelby and I made a trek to Mountain equipment co-op to purchase some "spandex" for her to row in. What fun we had! I watched her amazement and pride as she poured her young svelte body into the luscious hugging spandex Not, only did this clothing look great on her, it was performance gear for her beloved rowing sport. I could relate. It is important to be equipped with the proper gear. She looked amazing and the smile on her face told me she felt it. Ringing up at the cash had me paying down a hundred dollars easily, and I really felt her sense of gratitude. And her bubbly non-stop verbal thank-you's were classic Shelby!!
So, when she phoned the next day with this news my heart sank for her. In a heartbeat I knew her disappointment and her pain. I also felt her embarrassment and sense of stupidity for "forgetting" this very important bag. Not, once did I ask a painful "how could you ?" sort of question, or go to a preachy tone with "you know how much those clothes cost blah blah blah scenario.
I assured her they would probably show up at the lost and found at the bus depot. I hung up and sat down to journal and the solution came to me. I would simply replace the outfit. The other important thing about this day was it was the day they were going to be "on the water" and I knew how much that mattered to Shelby. By simply replacing the clothes this day, she would miss nothing. The clothes would either show up the next day or not. If they did great, I would return the extra pair, if not, I would still want to replace the outfit. She deserved so much more than what the lost clothes were costing her.
I felt smart, satisfied and really proud of my quick thinking and action. When I arrived at her High school to deliver the new package, by serendipity Shelby was right there in the front hall ready to receive. She was appreciative, grateful and bubbling with her enthusiasm and simple joy. As if somehow the new clothes had replaced her lost sense of self.
You have heard this story up until this part mom and what you remembered was the time I lost that very special leather coat when I was 15. You reminded me of your very same response. You had the solution when I was devastated and heartbroken.
"Just replace it!." And that is what you did.
Up until this point in our conversation I had no conscious memory of my lost clothes experience.
It was after we spoke that I was able to piece together the fabric of the stories. Yes, the story runs a very deep parallel. And what I know and what is so amazing and way more important than the details is the "mother's way" that I was able to emulate. Many reading this story may be judging and thinking this is a story of excess or a story about clothes.
The magic in this story is in the threads of time and the lessons that were laid down in the building of the child's self esteem and image. It is also in the patterns that were used to create a template for mothering. A template that I use so automatically, I sometimes forget it is there. This template of unconditional love.
So today is about honouring the patterns and design of whom you are as my mother and all the beautiful ways that you mothered me. Your gifts that I know if we explore will find stories that go back in time to you and Gan (your own mother)
Today dear Mom we all stand in front of the mirror and see the sartorial splendour of our work. I know that I am part of a design line that any girl child will be proud.
And it is beautiful.
Teresa O'Neill is the parent to four fabulous children. As a single mom she has made choices in her work life to align her value of family and work. Her decision to be a life coach allowed her to combine her obvious talents and skills with a career choice she is in love with. She has actually practiced Entrepreneurial skills that has allowed her to run her own business Coaching Connections.
She guides other Entrepreneurs in the practice of "A Better Way to Work" A coaching program that she delivers. It is absolutely possible to have room for it all! Success in business and in family life. In fact it is imperative to living fully. Her playful spirit and kind heart shows up whether she is coaching a business woman in her fifties or in the swimming pool with her eleven year old son.
shuttle from O'Hare Bingham .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareDo you feel like someone has abducted your sweet, innocent... Read More
Q. I don't like my children spending so much time... Read More
Have you ever watched your teenager make a mistake (that... Read More
The No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 is making... Read More
I will cherish this moment. I will not let it... Read More
The 'phone conversation had nothing at all to do with... Read More
It was at that time when our marriage was falling... Read More
Salon visits can be scary experiences for small children: They... Read More
What Children Look for in a Friend?Is this child fun... Read More
The cost of being a parent and raising a child... Read More
Homework. It doesn't have to be a daily battle of... Read More
The First Reason: For one thing, child development experts are... Read More
Did you know that the number of twin births have... Read More
Q. My daughter is a junior in high school and... Read More
When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay... Read More
"I could have helped you if I would have known,... Read More
You no longer have to use Ritalin or other stimulants... Read More
Past experience with federal education programs predicts that the No... Read More
On one of her quarterly visits to see her grandson,... Read More
Many times, we are so conditioned in how we speak... Read More
The question I have for you drives right to the... Read More
In the first premise, some films and video tapes which... Read More
Vacations and trips are great family events, but how do... Read More
It's among the top criticism wives have of their husbands:... Read More
What should the goals for counseling be when the patient... Read More
Mishawaka limo O'Hare ..She slipped her small, soft eight-year-old hand into mine. Her... Read More
Q: Whenever we tell my daughter "no," she just bugs... Read More
Parents, do you have children who do poorly in school,... Read More
The brightly colored plastic mobile dangles lazily overhead in the... Read More
Picture this. Your child comes home with a special assignment... Read More
Q. We are getting to the stage with our kids... Read More
When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay... Read More
Ritalin has been shown through the years to be very... Read More
Jason Roberts listened to his son's explanation of the missing... Read More
Most people with children want to be good parents. The... Read More
If your child or teen has been diagnosed with Attention... Read More
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added... Read More
In elementary school it's pretty straightforward: bringing in cupcakes to... Read More
(Isaiah 11:6 KJV) The wolf also shall dwell with the... Read More
From the book Spider's Night on the BoomI've only begun... Read More
Reading is the most efficient and economical way to help... Read More
Non-compliance is the family therapist's big word for your child... Read More
A growing body of scientific evidence shows that the way... Read More
The biggest complaint you hear from parents about their children... Read More
There are many parenting styles. Yours may be very different... Read More
Most of the ADHD kids that are seen in a... Read More
I am writing this from the beautiful mountains of Western... Read More
"Not another meeting!"That tends to be the reaction from many... Read More
Most of us recognize the continuing escalation of violence around... Read More
Remember when cash was a tangible commodity in all of... Read More
Parenting |