Dear Mom
On this day set aside to honour "Mother's" let me tell you a story about you and me and your granddaughter Shelby.
"Hi Mom, I'm in a really bad space" so many things went through my mind in a flash. Was she pregnant? I was also impressed with her language because I understood the language of space. Yes, she is my daughter and we sometimes speak the same language. Shelby had been to a high school leadership camp on the weekend. How profound for her had it been? What did she want to reveal to me as a result of her experience at camp? Or had she lost a friend to death? In the half an hour since I had last seen her. All this went through my mind in the nano second that elapsed in this moment, what was really true?
Then she let it out, I forgot my bag of clothes on the bus. Now, that may seem small and insignificant and what you may not know dear reader is what the clothes represented.
The evening prior, Shelby and I made a trek to Mountain equipment co-op to purchase some "spandex" for her to row in. What fun we had! I watched her amazement and pride as she poured her young svelte body into the luscious hugging spandex Not, only did this clothing look great on her, it was performance gear for her beloved rowing sport. I could relate. It is important to be equipped with the proper gear. She looked amazing and the smile on her face told me she felt it. Ringing up at the cash had me paying down a hundred dollars easily, and I really felt her sense of gratitude. And her bubbly non-stop verbal thank-you's were classic Shelby!!
So, when she phoned the next day with this news my heart sank for her. In a heartbeat I knew her disappointment and her pain. I also felt her embarrassment and sense of stupidity for "forgetting" this very important bag. Not, once did I ask a painful "how could you ?" sort of question, or go to a preachy tone with "you know how much those clothes cost blah blah blah scenario.
I assured her they would probably show up at the lost and found at the bus depot. I hung up and sat down to journal and the solution came to me. I would simply replace the outfit. The other important thing about this day was it was the day they were going to be "on the water" and I knew how much that mattered to Shelby. By simply replacing the clothes this day, she would miss nothing. The clothes would either show up the next day or not. If they did great, I would return the extra pair, if not, I would still want to replace the outfit. She deserved so much more than what the lost clothes were costing her.
I felt smart, satisfied and really proud of my quick thinking and action. When I arrived at her High school to deliver the new package, by serendipity Shelby was right there in the front hall ready to receive. She was appreciative, grateful and bubbling with her enthusiasm and simple joy. As if somehow the new clothes had replaced her lost sense of self.
You have heard this story up until this part mom and what you remembered was the time I lost that very special leather coat when I was 15. You reminded me of your very same response. You had the solution when I was devastated and heartbroken.
"Just replace it!." And that is what you did.
Up until this point in our conversation I had no conscious memory of my lost clothes experience.
It was after we spoke that I was able to piece together the fabric of the stories. Yes, the story runs a very deep parallel. And what I know and what is so amazing and way more important than the details is the "mother's way" that I was able to emulate. Many reading this story may be judging and thinking this is a story of excess or a story about clothes.
The magic in this story is in the threads of time and the lessons that were laid down in the building of the child's self esteem and image. It is also in the patterns that were used to create a template for mothering. A template that I use so automatically, I sometimes forget it is there. This template of unconditional love.
So today is about honouring the patterns and design of whom you are as my mother and all the beautiful ways that you mothered me. Your gifts that I know if we explore will find stories that go back in time to you and Gan (your own mother)
Today dear Mom we all stand in front of the mirror and see the sartorial splendour of our work. I know that I am part of a design line that any girl child will be proud.
And it is beautiful.
Teresa O'Neill is the parent to four fabulous children. As a single mom she has made choices in her work life to align her value of family and work. Her decision to be a life coach allowed her to combine her obvious talents and skills with a career choice she is in love with. She has actually practiced Entrepreneurial skills that has allowed her to run her own business Coaching Connections.
She guides other Entrepreneurs in the practice of "A Better Way to Work" A coaching program that she delivers. It is absolutely possible to have room for it all! Success in business and in family life. In fact it is imperative to living fully. Her playful spirit and kind heart shows up whether she is coaching a business woman in her fifties or in the swimming pool with her eleven year old son.
recurring maid service Highland Park ..Most people have more training before they receive their driver's... Read More
Winnie the Pooh is the classic picture of Inattentive ADHD.... Read More
It was at that time when our marriage was falling... Read More
At first I thought of titling this article "The Lazy... Read More
Parents are always looking for ways to open up the... Read More
For several years now, I've told the following story as... Read More
The time you will need to teach your children the... Read More
When my oldest boy was really young, he tickled my... Read More
You can learn a lot from children.The best part of... Read More
Quite simply, an absolute nightmare for parents and babies alike,... Read More
My name is Duncan and I'm 2 years old. I... Read More
There are many things to like about the television show... Read More
You may think once your child has gone off to... Read More
One fantastic way to get your children involved in what... Read More
MYTH: All teens have to rebel, and the teen years... Read More
Bedtime and children's sleep habits can cause nightmares - for... Read More
Did you know that the school system is only able... Read More
One of parents' most important duties is to protect their... Read More
Keith is now in the fourth grade and he dislikes... Read More
Imagine yourself lying flat on your back, totally strapped down... Read More
Frankly, as a single parent of young children, I struggled.... Read More
Are men to blame for the divorce problem in this... Read More
Many parental units are not "techies" and openly admit they... Read More
Demanding children ? children who have entitlement issues ? seem... Read More
An estimated five million scooters will be sold this year... Read More
move out cleaning service Glenview ..I will never forget the day that my daughter's sixth... Read More
We need a grass roots campaign targeted towards parents to... Read More
Every parent wants their child to develop positive character traits.... Read More
Hope, excitement and anxiety all wrapped up in fresh haircuts... Read More
A common theme over the past 20 years has been... Read More
Anyone can splurge on a formal dinner or a pricey... Read More
There are many useful jogger stroller accessories out on the... Read More
Q. Things have been relatively calm and OK with our... Read More
We all want to comfort our children after they suffer... Read More
My cousin boasts five names and I confess that when... Read More
Teri was 5. As younger siblings do, she looked up... Read More
When you hear the phrase, 'guerrilla parenting techniques', what images... Read More
"I took care of Callie," my three-year-old announced.Callie had been... Read More
When my son was 18 (and had finished school), he... Read More
Coping with a child's bad behavior, perhaps more than any... Read More
Moms and dads, are there times you think that parenting... Read More
I look out of the window as I am writing... Read More
Should a parent give a child a tangible reward when... Read More
Successful parents have learned to be both firm and kind... Read More
In the news, we hear and see an increasing number... Read More
The great thing about children is they absorb knowledge like... Read More
What parents of a teen haven't wondered where their sweet... Read More
Bearers of life, wipers of noses, givers of unconditional love... Read More
1. They can make mistakes under your guidance2. They will... Read More
Dan Rather made a significant and tactical error and got... Read More
Parenting |