Article based on a friend's experience
I just wanted to share an experience I just had with my daughters, Yee Ting and Yee Sin.
Yee Ting is three years old this month while Yee Sin is only one-month old. Yee Ting has always been a rather good girl, apart from the occasional tantrum outbursts sprinkling our usual day. She would tell me when she wanted to eat, wear the clothes I tell her to wear, watch her TV and then play with her toys, without much hassle.
As a stay-at-home mom, I really appreciated her obedience because it made it possible for me to perform my household chores while she went along with her usual day. She has not attended preschool yet, although we're thinking about it. Maybe next year, we'll send her to a good one. I am very picky about the kind of schools she goes to. Maybe that's why I have been delaying the decision.
Yee Sin was born only a month ago and is generally a very happy baby but she's quite fussy. She tends to be very fussy about wanting me to feed her, even when my mother comes over to help once in a while. My mother has problems feeding, changing and helping her sleep. In the end, my mother comes over to perform the house chores while I find the time to play and cuddle with Yee Sin.
Ever since Yee Sin was born, Yee Ting has been on the edge. She has behaved very badly at times, screaming and shouting. She even kicked at me one time, which made me very mad with her. I lost my temper and shouted at her. I even hit her a few times. I know I shouldn't but I couldn't control myself because I felt all stressed out with the piles of dishes waiting for me and I needed to feed and bathe Yee Sin before I attended to those things. Yee Ting was very sorry after that and she sat in one corner, ignoring me and my husband (when he came back). She read her books in that corner, took her milk and then went to sleep cuddling her dolly in that corner.
I felt terrible about hitting her and vow never to do it again.
Then I took both my daughters to buy some groceries one morning in a nearby shopping mall. Let me get this straight, going to the shopping mall together happens to be one of those special activities for me and Yee Ting before Yee Sin was born. We would go there and run around like wild horses. She would play hide and seek in the clothes department, hiding behind the clothes for sale and I would pretend to look for her. Because we go there during office hours, there are usually not many people there and staff ignores us. So, we usually have a ball there.
This time, I was carrying Yee Sin in my arms while I insisted that Yee Ting walk alongside me. The stuff I bought was sitting in the stroller destined for the kids. When Yee Ting hid behind the clothes, I barked at her and told her to come right out. "Come out! Mommy has got no time to play with you!" I shouted. Solemnly, Yee Ting trotted along with me.
Everything has changed. The world has changed. Mommy has changed. And it's all because Yee Sin came along.
When we came home, Yee Ting behaved very naughtily. She pulled the tablecloth from the table and ruined the vase and flower arrangements. She kicked around when she couldn't find her color pencils. And when I was carrying Yee Sin, she would climb all over me and Yee Sin, hoping to get in between.
Thank goodness, my mother came. Amazingly, Yee Sin took to my mother that day. And I had the time to look at Yee Ting in the eye and reprimand her for her wrongdoing. I told her to come to my room as I had some things to tell her. I went to the room before her. I waited for her while she ran around the living room looking for her things. She brought her books, her dolly and her play-doh. When she entered the room, she cautiously tiptoed.
Then it struck me, this little young lady has finally found mommy all alone, with nothing to do. She has finally caught mommy in a moment whereby she would be free from everything. It is possible that mommy is now the way she was before. But she has to be careful. This time is precious so, in order not to spoil anything, she would tiptoe around.
I felt very guilty. I felt terrible. I was being a terrible mom to Yee Ting. For all those times I scolded her for being naughty, she was trying to get me to pay attention to her. She was trying to tell me something emotional like, "Mommy's always with Yee Sin. I am jealous!", "I want my mommy back", "I feel hurt", "I feel left out" and "Mommy! Pay attention to me. I need you too!". But she doesn't have the vocabulary for it yet.
I sat with her in the room for half an hour, playing, reading, laughing, joking, smiling, cuddling and I told her I love her about a million times. After all the playing, I said to her, "Ting, mommy's sorry. I have no time for you, and I am extremely sorry for that. I love you. I love you tremendously and don't doubt that. It's difficult for mommy right now but nothing changed. I still love you. I need you to be a big girl, ok? I need you to be strong. I promise to make time for you everyday. I promise"
And this promise?..I kept. Yee Ting has never been better.
And as the title goes?a little love changed a little girl from a little monster to a little angel. A little love goes a long way.
Marsha Maung is a work at home freelance graphic designer and writer. She resides in Selangor, Malaysia with her husband, Peter and 2 boys, Joshua and Jared. She is the author of "Raising Little Magicians" and other work at home books. For more information, please visit http://www.marshamaung.com
Brownsville wedding limousine .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareChecking accounts are an absolute necessity these days. You can... Read More
The word no is probably the most overused word in... Read More
"The best blush to use is laughter: It put roses... Read More
Life is funny.My twenty-year-old daughter, Melanie, has a her new... Read More
Does your child pout, blame and brood? Does he gripe,... Read More
Are you being smart about water conservation? Do you consider... Read More
Is your weekly shopping trip with the kids an absolute... Read More
Public-school teaching is structured in such a way that it... Read More
Our children are growing up bilingual in the French part... Read More
MYTH: If you have not parented as well as you... Read More
Maintaining a safe home environment for your childrenAs adults and... Read More
For many adults, reading a book or newspaper seems effortless.... Read More
Most day cares are non-profit organizations that must operate within... Read More
As the father of a toddler, I am an expert... Read More
Love, love, love. It makes the world go round. It... Read More
Are your children truthful, kind, and helpful? If so, read... Read More
In seminars I am often asked about pocket-money and whether... Read More
"What age should my child start school?"This is a common... Read More
For every season, check, check, check, There is a chart,... Read More
O.K. So now you have taken the step of having... Read More
"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More
One of parents' most important duties is to protect their... Read More
Pool safety should be on the minds of every parent... Read More
If you are like most people today, you do not... Read More
The wonderful adaptability of children in dealing with the challenges... Read More
Culver prom limousines ..You have just received a call from your child's teacher... Read More
Isn't the technology of today is amazing?! Between the speed... Read More
The ADD child exhibits a series of behaviors that are... Read More
Keith is now in the fourth grade and he dislikes... Read More
Levels of SafetyBy teaching our children there are different levels... Read More
Q. With another school year starting, we are not sure... Read More
1. You reheated the same cup of coffee three times... Read More
How are parents to know they are doing the right... Read More
For the first year or two of life outside the... Read More
Sitting by her Pinocchio lamp, she smiled at me as... Read More
The main thing we noticed since having a baby is... Read More
O.K. So now you have taken the step of having... Read More
One of the implications of the current trend toward smaller... Read More
Saying no to our children is not always easy or... Read More
More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how... Read More
My son is 6 yrs old. He came home the... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
Jason Meridith's two-year old son whines when he wants more... Read More
Courage means doing the right thing when it is hard,... Read More
You need to smart to be able influence adolescents. You... Read More
Fizzy sherbet in a paper bag with a strawberry lollipop... Read More
An apology is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes... Read More
"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing... Read More
Spending quality time with your children doesn't need to cost... Read More
Bearers of life, wipers of noses, givers of unconditional love... Read More
Parenting |