Home
>
Parenting
>
5 Tips for Improving Communication With Your Teenager

5 Tips for Improving Communication With Your Teenager

Parents are always looking for ways to open up the communication with their teenagers. Here are 5 ideas that are all within your control. Some may represent an attitude shift, some are tactics you can apply; all have the potential to dramatically improve the communication between you and your teen.

1.) Stephen Covey has provided us with some of the best advice for improving all communication: "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood."* This is especially helpful to apply to your communication with your teens.

Parents have a tendency to react quickly sometimes, and this can work against your desires to improve communication. Your child comes home with "D" on a Spanish test. Before you jump too quickly, ask what happened. Your new driver is late for curfew. You are pacing and sick with worry. It's easy to jump down her throat when she comes in the door, even if you are relieved to see her. Listen to her first. Not only can you save face, she learns that you will listen to her and respect what she has to say.

2.) "Be there" despite rejection

Sometimes parents' feelings are hurt if it feels like their teenager is rejecting them. These dynamics may be a natural part of the process; as teens learn to stand on their own and develop a reliance on their own decisions, parents can feel a sense of rejection? and sometimes parents pout or turn away feeling as though they are not needed. But even through these hurt feelings we must continue to reach out to our kids. They are in the midst of dramatic developmental shifts, they are sometimes overwhelmed with the events, feelings, changes that are part of their life. Parents need to "be there" ? reaching out, letting them know they are loved, no matter what. Don't misread their cues by minimizing your communication; continue to "be there" because they need you more than ever.

3.) Listen with your heart; trust your intuition

You trusted your intuition when your child was young. Remember that conversation with the doctor when you knew he had an ear infection even though the exam didn't show it? Parents of teenagers sometimes allow stereotypes about teenagers to carry more weight than their own intuition. Don't let this happen to you. Even though your teenager is changing, you still know him better than anybody else does. If your intuition tells you he's still a good kid, don't fall into the trap of distrusting him. If your intuition tells you something is wrong, take action and get help. You need to trust all your faculties and to develop the ability to "listen" on all available wave lengths.

4.) Go ahead and Negotiate ? it's good!

It's perfectly appropriate for parents with teenagers to negotiate with them. Teens deserve the opportunity to have input into the rules that apply to them. As they mature the rules change, and their ability to negotiate gives you insight into your child's level of maturity. This is valuable information for you. You are also helping your teenager develop important life skills.

Negotiation is also good because it requires parents to examine the rules they are applying and to intentionally and thoughtfully change them as teens develop. This doesn't mean that you cave in to pressure or that you allow them freedom that doesn't feel right. But it does mean you discuss the rules and the reasons behind them.

5.) Sometimes indirect communication works best Not all teenagers can sit down for heart-to-heart talks. In fact, probably very few can. How do parents cover sensitive ground when kids won't stop long enough to even talk? Get comfortable with indirect communication. Write a note, a letter, an e-mail. Plan a short conversation when your teen is in the car with you. They listen to everything you say even if they don't look like it. You may need to give them time to absorb what you are saying without having to respond to you. Get used to indirect communication, it's often the most effective way with teens.

*Covey,Stephen, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

? 2004 Sue Blaney

Sue Blaney is the author of Please Stop the Rollercoaster! How Parents of Teenagers Can Smooth Out the Ride, a book/workbook/program that guides parents to examine the range of issues they are likely to face. For information on this unique and flexible resource visit our website http://www.pleasestoptherollercoaster.com

apartment cleaning near Wilmette ..

In The News:

House Bill 469 would prevent AI systems from owning property, serving as executives, or gaining legal personhood in Ohio under Representative Thaddeus Claggett's proposal.

Public voter records expose retirees' personal details to election scammers who create targeted cons using names, addresses, and voting history data.

Instead of fearing what comes next with artificial intelligence, think outside the box. Here are high-earning AI jobs that don't require a computer science degree.

OpenAI CEO Sam Altman says polite words like "please" and "thank you" cost millions annually, while direct prompts may improve ChatGPT accuracy by several points.

Chattee Chat and GiMe Chat exposed intimate conversations and photos, revealing users spent up to $18,000 on AI companions before the breach.

New Instagram parental controls allow families to manage teen screen time and content limits through the Family Center with stricter safety settings.

Third-party security breach at Discord exposes sensitive user information including government IDs, highlighting cybersecurity risks from external service providers.

Survey of 1,000 students shows teens using AI for personal relationships while two-thirds of parents remain unaware of their children's AI usage.

Cybersecurity experts warn about a ShadowLeak vulnerability that weaponized ChatGPT's Deep Research agent to steal personal data from Gmail accounts through hidden commands.

Tesla's Full Self-Driving system faces federal investigation following 58 reports of crashes, with six vehicles running red lights before colliding with other cars.

The Fox News AI Newsletter brings you the latest developments on artificial intelligence, with news on OpenAI moving to soon allow erotica for adult users.

Eric Schmidt alerts that hackers can reverse-engineer AI models to bypass safety measures, citing examples like the jailbroken ChatGPT variant called DAN.

Cybercriminals exploit Microsoft Teams through impersonation, malicious links and fake profiles to gather intel and deliver ransomware to personal and work devices.

Google, Dior, Allianz and dozens of other companies lost sensitive customer data in Salesforce-related breaches affecting millions of records across multiple sectors.

Apple launches iOS 26 with new Preview app that combines document editing, PDF annotation and scanning features into one streamlined iPhone experience.

New AI road monitoring system uses sensor-embedded fabric to predict infrastructure problems, potentially reducing maintenance costs and traffic disruptions for cities.

Holiday charity scams target retirees through lookalike organization names, untraceable payment requests, and data broker information to steal donations.

The Federal Trade Commission says criminals are posing as IRS agents, law enforcement officers or other officials, often over the phone or online, to steal thousands of dollars at a time.

AI phishing scams now use voice cloning and deepfake technology to trick victims, but Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals warning signs to watch for.

Inversion Space unveils Arc, a reusable reentry vehicle that can deliver up to 500 pounds of cargo from orbit to anywhere on Earth in under an hour.

Red flags like processing fees, urgent countdowns and requests for full Social Security numbers expose fraudulent settlement sites targeting consumers.

Comprehensive analysis of Google Maps, Waze and Apple Maps examines usability, routing accuracy, data handling and features across the top navigation platforms.

Expert analysis reveals whether wired Ethernet or wireless Wi-Fi connections are safer for home internet use, plus practical steps to secure your network from attackers.

Australian construction robot Charlotte uses sand, crushed brick and recycled glass to 3D print fireproof, floodproof homes with reduced carbon footprint.

Cybercriminals are using fake invitation emails to trick recipients into downloading malware and stealing personal information and data.

5 Tips for Improving Communication With Your Teenager

Parenting