1 "Law of Belonging": The greatest need of teenagers (after music and the phone) is a strong sense of belonging. They need to feel they are a part of something bigger than themselves. If they don't get it in a healthy place - with family, worthwhile friends, clubs, sports, youth groups, etc. - they will get it in an unhealthy place - with inappropriate friends, drugs, gangs or cults.
2 "Law of Hope": Recent statistics show that one of the age groups in which the suicide rate is rising is adolescents. This is the direct result of a lack of hope - hope for the future, hope that things will get better.
3 "Law of Power": Once you enter into a power struggle with a teen, you have already lost it. Remember the closing line of the movie War Games: "Interesting game . . . the only winning move is not to play."
4 "Law of Management": A management approach to raising teens puts parents clearly in charge. The goal is to manage them eventually out of your lives and into their own. Parenting is one of those jobs in which the goal is to eliminate the need for your job.
5 "Law of Modeling": If you don't want your teen doing something, make sure you are not doing it yourself. Teens have very strong and sensitive hypocrisy meters and are eager to use them.
6 "Law of Differing Views": It's no great insight that parents and teens view the world in different ways. One clear example of this is school. For parents, the view is we work all day, kids don't. School is their job. Therefore, they should get good grades. The view of teenagers can be that school is right in the middle of their important social world.
7 "Law of Punishment": Punishment often springs from anger. Punishment breeds resentment and a desire for revenge. Teens have many creative ways to retaliate.
8 "Law of Consequences": Consequences teach teens about the real world. In general, consequences need to be reasonable, respectful, swift and strong enough to get the attention of teens.
9 "Law of Structure": Parents need to set boundaries and structure from day one. If you don't do this while they are young, what makes you think they will obey a curfew once they have a car? We tend to over structure the time of young children and understructure the time of teens. Teenagers need structure as much, if not more, than younger children.
10 "Law of W's": When teens are away from home, parents need to know who they are with, where they are, what they are doing, and what time they will be back.
Jeff Herring, MS, LMFT, is a marriage and family therapist specializing in working with teenagers and their parents. A nationally syndicated relationship columnist and speaker, Jeff is also the founder and CEO of http://www.parentingyourteenager.com, where you can subscribe to his f'ree internet newsletter "ParentingYourTeenager." E-mail Jeff at http://www.parentingyourteenager.com
executive chauffeured services Bradford .. Madison to Airport carHave you ever had this struggle with your teens? Did... Read More
The popularity of EEG Biofeedback Training continues to grow both... Read More
It was a hot summer day in august and The... Read More
Having a babysitter take care of your kids is sometimes... Read More
A learning disability is defined as a permanent problem that... Read More
"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More
There are times when my ideas of raising a child... Read More
You are at the grocery store with your daughter and... Read More
It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward... Read More
Often, the struggle at dinnertime with your picky eater is... Read More
The snow was getting heavier with each lift of the... Read More
Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in... Read More
1. Encourage Questions.Don't answer every question, instead ask what do... Read More
What is child sexual abuse? Any sexual activity that is... Read More
Sara loves pampering. Haircuts, facials, manicures, and makeup bring smiles,... Read More
If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More
Many parents struggle to know which foods are healthy for... Read More
Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow? With... Read More
LOS ANGELES (May 19, 2005) - With Memorial Day weekend,... Read More
A tall, weary-looking mother with glasses, walked into my counseling... Read More
Our children are growing up bilingual in the French part... Read More
The main thing we noticed since having a baby is... Read More
There's a new trend for party entertainment. It seems as... Read More
The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational... Read More
Here's a scene: A parent "might suddenly grab a happliy... Read More
O'Hare Chicago prom limo ..In the beginning, having children was just a byproduct of... Read More
Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However,... Read More
It's sometimes difficult to find ways to be involved with... Read More
Although, not a well publicized statistic, childhood obesity has more... Read More
As a parent is seems that the majority of your... Read More
The wonderful adaptability of children in dealing with the challenges... Read More
Are you a frustrated parent who sometimes finds it is... Read More
Pool safety should be on the minds of every parent... Read More
Isn't it ironic that a country whose constitution allows for... Read More
I know as a single parent or even with 2... Read More
Researched through personal experience!Budget Your Money. Even if you are... Read More
Recently, a parent came to me, conflicted over whether to... Read More
Home-schooling provides children with a superior education. Parents can quickly... Read More
Having a high level of emotional intelligence in your children... Read More
Ever blown your top to your children, only to regret... Read More
Most of us can agree that there is a lack... Read More
KIDS AND THE NEWSMore than ever, children witness innumerable, sometimes... Read More
For the most positive daycare experience for your child, partner... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
The least flexible character in all of the stories of... Read More
The hot new reality TV show "Nanny 911" has been... Read More
Since so many would rather avoid the use of stimulant... Read More
The No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 is making... Read More
If you're looking for toys that are both fun to... Read More
Today the little red school house is not what it... Read More
Parenting |